Mascot Rankings

for Power 4

Schools

Two rules for ranking mascots.

1.) Needs to be big.

2.) Needs to be funny.

Marissa O'Grady Marissa O'Grady

B1G Ten Mascots Top 3 Picks

1.)     Oregon Duck

2.)     Goldy Gopher

3.)     Sparty

Hey everybody! It has been a while, but I am back with my top 3 picks for the B1G Ten. More like the B1G Twenty am I right? The reason I say that is more teams have decided to join this Power Four conference and with that more mascots! Yahoo! Now I have to be clear, my favorite team of all time is in this conference. The Cornhuskers themselves. I was born and bred to be a Husker fan and I will stay a fan forever. No matter their ups and down, national winning streaks, or no bowl game appearances…all I got to say is…Gooo Biiiig Reeed! With that out of the way, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This is about mascots. (Sorry, Herby Husker and Lil’ Red, neither of you made the cut.)

My top pick for the B1G Twenty….I mean the B1G Ten…is THE…Oregon Duck. Now, I know my man Lee Corso would agree 100%. If I could, I would wear the Oregon Duck head myself and give the audience a little wave, but I’m not affiliated with ESPN College Game Day. However, if they ever come across this page…Hi, how are ya? I would gladly be the next mascot picker, should the day every come. I’m getting a little ahead of myself, back to the Oregon Duck. This guy is not only cute, but hilarious! This duck can hold a football in its beak for quack’s sake. The little webbed feet and tail have me giggling every time I look at them. Now, this mascot also has a BIG personality, which makes it perfect in joining the B1G Ten. He’s often seen getting BIG on the sidelines with his signature pushups. Or he’s seen doing the pushup counter?? An Oregon Duck fan needs to tell me more about this because I have many questions about the pushup counter bobblehead. His BIG eyes and beak just add to his personality. Not going to lie, I got a little confused between him and Sebastian the Ibis mascot for Miami. Sorry to fans of both organizations but I think it’s the beaks. On closer examination though…Sebastian has the bushy eyebrows. Overall, I’m excited for Oregon to be joining the B1G Ten. I get to see the Duck’s cute face and BIG personality on the sidelines, especially when they play my team, the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Hopefully, I’ll even get to see the famous pushups and learn more about why they are so popular.

My next pick for the B1G Ten is Goldy Gopher for the U of M - University of Minnesota. First off, have you seen a picture of Goldy? How can you not laugh when you see it? The chubby cheeks and the buck teeth are the funniest features….Nope, I take that back. He has a TAIL people!! Best feature by far. Ok ya’ll, but just take a minute to scroll through Goldy Gopher pictures online. I don’t know what’s funnier, the vintage picture of Goldy or all the homemade drawings. Is he fierce? Not at all. But big and funny? Absolutely. Hold up though. Only after doing research on Goldy did I find out there is a Mascot National Championship. Oh boy, Oh boy. That sent me down a rabbit hole of mascots. If you didn’t already know Goldy won in 2011, 2013, and back to back in 2017 and 2018. All I got to say is this, the U of M knows mascots. He appears at over 600 outing events each year. There is a whole page dedicated to Goldy on the University of Minnesota’s website. I’ll be looking forward to seeing this face once football season is back.

My final pick for the B1G ten is Sparty from Michigan State University. Now, this guy isn’t just B1G. He is JACKED. My oh my. The arms, legs, and abs of this mascots are so defined. They didn’t leave room for imagination. He was also named “Buffest Mascot” by Muscle and Fitness Magazine. It doesn’t matter that he only has 4 fingers on each hand, because he stands 7 feet tall, his helmet size is 10XL, and his shoe size is 22. This mascot is humongous. Funny is another story. This mascot has no neck. His shoulder muscles won’t allow it, which makes some of these pictures hilarious. Before the muscles though, Sparty was first made of papier-mâché…yes, I cracked up looking at it…and yes, I’ve included a picture below. Sparty is going to give the Oregon Ducks signature pushups a run for its money. Sparty’s favorite exercise is one-handed pushups, which he probably does in his sleep by the look of his arms. Let’s just say Sparty is the B1Ggest mascot of the B1G Ten.

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Marissa O'Grady Marissa O'Grady

SEC Mascots Top 3 Picks

1.) Cocky

2.) Albert

3.) Big Al

As promised, here are my top 3 SEC mascot rankings. Now, I know I had three tiger mascots to choose from for this conference…and sorry to say…none of them were picked. Here’s two things to remember for when I pick the best mascots for each conference. 1.) They need to be big. 2.) They need to be funny. Let’s get into it.

1.) Cocky is the mascot for the South Carolina Gamecocks. One look…and instant laughter. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what animal it was for a minute. After some research, it’s clearly a rooster. Now, I’ve only had one encounter with a rooster and it was zero fun sir. (Hopefully, you football fans know that reference.) The rooster was mean and insisted on chasing an unwelcomed guest away. Maybe that was the idea behind choosing it for their mascot? Chasing away the competition? Now, Cocky doesn’t look mean, but according to South Carolina’s website, he’s “never too chicken to pump up our Gamecock spirit” which is so clever. He has the look of a rooster with his beak, tail, and cockscomb (top of the head), but his large midsection and yellow feet just make this character more lovable than mean. It was no question for making him my #1.

2.) Albert the Gator is a classic mascot for Florida University. I mean talk about the perfect mascot for the Florida region of where the real-life animal lives. While looking up pictures of Albert, it came to my attention that he has a fellow gator friend named Alberta. I was trying to get the scoop on if they’re boyfriend/girlfriend? Married? Just friends? Articles online weren’t very clear, even after Albert proposed in 2007. If a Gator fan could clear that up for me, that would be appreciated. I’m just going to focus on Albert for this ranking though. He’s a big guy with his green snout, legs, and feet. Now he’s not rolling on the floor funny, but still makes me giggle with his cute smile and alligator teeth. He obviously loves to represent the Florida Gator merch with his hat and t-shirt. I’ve always been jealous of the Florida Gator clap of the fan section, and I’m sure Albert is a big part of getting that started.

3.) Lastly, we’ve got Big Al. Now, I’m not on the Alabama football team bandwagon. This is about mascots only. Like hello – Big is in Al’s name, so he’s immediately passing the first criteria. He’s also got big ole’ ears and his trunk is probably the best feature, but not going to lie, I’ve been confused about this mascot for a long time. Not being from Alabama, I was confused by how the Crimson Tide, “Roll Tide”, and the elephant all came together.

Here’s a little history for ya. The crimson refers to the red of Alabama’s jerseys and Crimson Tide was a common phrase used by sportswriters to mean life or blood. More specifically, they used the phrase for describing the Alabama-Auburn football game of 1907. This game was played in muddy conditions, but resulted in a tie, even though Auburn was highly favored to win. Jump forward a few decades to the 1930’s. A sportswriter came up with the phrase “Hold your horses, the elephants are coming!” as the team came out on the field. Hence the famous elephant. They had a real elephant for a couple of decades, but decided on just having the costume mascot instead.

Phew…ok, you can read all about it on Wikipedia, but back to the rankings. We established Big Al as well…big, but he’s also a funny guy. His hands and feet don’t really have fingers, but he can make them into fists, which is just hilarious. If you look at Big Al’s costumes through the decades, you’ll get a kick out of it too. Also, I had to insert a picture of Big Al in plushie form and it’s just the funniest thing.

Welp… I think that does it for the SEC conference. Hopefully, you’ve learned some history and relationship drama of these mascots. I know I’ll think of them differently when I see them on the TV screen pumping up their teams in mascot fashion. Come back next week for the top 3 rankings of the B1G ten conference mascots.

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Marissa O'Grady Marissa O'Grady

ACC Mascots Top 3 Picks

1.     Otto the Orange

2.     HokieBird

3.     Sebastian the Ibis

Welcome to the beginning of my hot takes on the best mascots from each Power Five conference. Today, we will be diving into the American Coast Conference (ACC). Now, hear me out. I have no idea if a majority of these teams are even good at sports. That’s not what this blog is about. It’s all about MASCOTS. There are basically 2 requirements for rating mascots, in my opinion. 1.) They need to be big. I’m talking big, muscular, unproportionally sized body parts. 2.) They need to be funny. If they don’t make me laugh every time I look at them, then they are not in my top list.

Ok, here we go folks…drumroll please.

My #1 ACC conference mascot is… Otto the Orange from Syracuse University. Here’s my reasoning. First of all, an orange, are you kidding me? Automatically funny, fruity, and fantastic. He’s got the cutest little hat on top of his big, round self. I mean, proportionally, not only is he the biggest orange I’ve ever seen, his nose size is just as huge. Next, his physical form cracks me up. Like come on, an orange cheering from the sidelines. Priceless. Above all else his cartoon self might be better than his physical self. There I said it. He’s got a fierce little smile on his face and is ready to take down any banana or grape in his way. Sometimes, I will just look at the saved image in my camera roll for a good laugh.

Coming in at #2 is HokieBird from Virginia Tech University. I didn’t even know this mascot existed until I started this blog post. I will tell you though, I laughed out loud when I saw this fun little character. It took me a minute to realize it was a turkey, but it’s outstretched feathers definitely sealed the deal. Let’s talk proportion sizes. Now, he’s not as plump as Otto the Orange, but still has a certain roundness about himself. He has a big soft smile and some massive feet. There’s even a picture showing him getting huge while lifting weights during a football game. Finally, we can’t forget his snood. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the thing hanging from a male turkey’s bill, and it is hilarious. It seems to be acting a lot like a nose on our mascot friend.

Alright, #3 goes to Sebastian the Ibis from the University of Miami. Now this may seem like a surprising pick, especially from a girl born in Nebraska during the 90’s. Husker football was at its peak and their rival always seemed to be the Miami Hurricane. But that doesn’t matter right now, because this ranking is strictly mascots and we don’t need to talk about the Big Ten until later. Ok to be honest, I thought Ibis looked a whole lot like the Oregon Ducks mascot, but they are clearly different types of birds after completing some research. Let’s dive into Ibis the mascot. Now just by looking at him, his big ole’ beak and eyebrows automatically stand out. The beak is the showstopper when it comes to being funny. I mean this character can grab the top and bottom of his beak to create the ultimate silly face. I wouldn’t bother with the cartoon character, but the bobble head is hilarious and just accentuates his features that we already know and love.

Now this blog is totally personal, you can agree or disagree with these picks all you want, but I just wanted to spread some light on characters you might already be fans of or have never seen before. We’ve basically covered all the major food groups: fruit (Otto), protein (HokieBird), salty (Ibis – for losing in the ’95 national football championship, if you know you know.) I kid, I kid. Hopefully you gained more insight on mascots and will look at the ACC a little differently. Remember, in order to be mascot greatness it needs to be 2 things. Big and funny. I’ll be back next week with my top picks from the SEC.

#2 and #3 pick taking a swing at each other on game day.

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